


The Worst Moment

by flooj9235



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Fluff, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 18:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/929787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flooj9235/pseuds/flooj9235
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Damn it, Bastila!" Revan shrieked, dodging a wild attack of Bastila's red blade. "Just stop it and listen to me!" Bastila's lightsaber fell into two pieces, no longer a deadly weapon, but useless hunks of metal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Moment

"Damn it, Bastila!" Revan shrieked, dodging a wild attack of Bastila's red blade. "Just stop it and  **listen**  to me!"

Bastila let out a cold laugh. "Diplomacy will get you nowhere, Revan!"

Revan caught a glimpse of Bastila's eyes, unfocused and glassy, and something in her wondered how Malak knew that destroying Bastila would decimate her. She was desperate not to hurt the younger woman, but Bastila's wild, unpredictable attacks made it nearly impossible to keep them both unharmed.

The brunette prowled around the former Sith with a maniacal light in her eyes. "You try to use your words to confuse me, but I cannot be swayed! My master has molded me to be the next leader of the Sith; I am more powerful now than you have ever seen me!" Her lips curled into a sadistic smile. "While you grow weary, I feed off the power of the dark side and remain strong!"

Revan snorted. "I don't believe you. What happened to all the preaching against the dark side?"

"I was blinded by the Jedi! They keep secrets and hide the true nature of the Force from their acolytes. They want to keep their power for themselves. The Sith have opened my eyes to all the secrets, Revan. My master has taught me everything!"

"What, like what it feels like to be tortured? Don't think I didn't feel that, Bas." Revan shuddered at the memory. "I know what he did to you. I'll make him pay."

Bastila faltered slightly at the mention of the word "torture," growling and leaping to attack Revan again. "How dare you threaten my master! I'll kill you before you get a chance!"

Their blades clashed with a shower of sparks, and they danced around each other, lightsabers twirling through the air in an intricate dance. Bastila's attacks were filled with fury and aiming for blood, while Revan was doing her best to simply disarm Bastila.

"What's the matter, Revan?" Bastila taunted breathlessly, a feral grin on her face. "Too scared to attack me because you can sense my power? Too scared to even  _try_ to gain the upper hand?" She let out a bark of laughter. "Pathetic fool. I almost pity you. You're but a former shell of what you once were, Revan. The thought of how powerful you must have been almost makes me tremble." Bastila stopped and shuddered theatrically, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. "It's too bad you're trapped; we could join forces. Together, we could rule-"

Revan let out a frustrated yell and slashed her blade toward Bastila.

Bastila's lightsaber fell into two pieces, no longer a deadly weapon, but useless hunks of metal. The gray-eyed woman screeched, more out of surprise than anything. She snarled at Revan, casting aside her broken weapon. "You!" she sputtered, struggling to find words to accurately express her rage.

She let off a shock wave of energy as she snarled, throwing her hands into the air and began drawing power from the air around them. Her fingertips were crackling with sparks of electricity, and with a primal yell, she wrenched her hands toward herself, yanking pieces of metal off the walls and flinging them at Revan.

Revan ducked a few of them, using the Force to redirect the other pieces away from her. They flew away and embedded themselves in the walls, and Bastila shrieked in frustration. Her face took on a resigned look a moment later and she nodded once. "You've won. Finish it."

Revan extinguished her lightsaber, the expression on her face somewhere between disbelief and desperation. "'Finish it?' I would never do that, Bas, and you know it!"

Bastila lifted her chin defiantly. "Surely you haven't forgotten the way of the Sith, Revan? Or are you too blinded by the light to remember." Her eyes revealed a flash of defeat. "You've won. Kill me." Her tone was almost completely steady, but a tremor cut through the woman's voice.

Revan pursed her lips and shook her head, blinking away tears. "I won't." Bastila tried to respond but Revan interrupted her fiercely. "I'm not going to lay a finger on you, Bastila! All I want to do is talk to you, so will you shut up and let me?" She sensed the younger woman's rebuttal before it came and lashed out with the Force, guiding Bastila into a sitting position against the projector in the middle of the room.

Bastila found that she was pinned against the console and struggled against Revan's invisible restraints, a scathing insult on the tip of her tongue. "How dare you! Release me at once!"

Revan walked over slowly, shaking her head. "Stop it. I have to tell you something, and this is probably the worst possible moment, but I can't think of anything else to get you to listen." She inhaled shakily, shifting her weight back and forth nervously.

Realizing she was going to get nowhere, Bastila simply sat and watched Revan with obvious disdain.

Revan looked almost sick with emotion, and when she saw the expression on Bastila's face, she nearly started crying. "I love you," she admitted, her voice cracking. "I have for months. But I just... oh Force, Bas... I never said anything because I knew how important being a Jedi was to you. I didn't want to get in the way of that, no matter what I was feeling." Revan swallowed, running a hand through her hair and avoiding Bastila's gaze. "I thought... I thought if I didn't tempt you, you'd stay safe. The Jedi were always saying love leads to the dark side, and I didn't want that for you. I'd have given anything to protect you from that."

Revan sank to her knees and stifled a sob. "I'm sorry, Bastila. I'm so, so sorry. I let you down. I don't know how to save you from this." She gave the brunette a desperate look. "I love you so much and I can't figure out how to save you."

Bastila was quiet for a long moment as the former Sith Lord let her emotions take over and started crying softly. "Part of me used to long to hear you say those words," she admitted slowly, her tone far less maniacal and much more like her usual self. "So much so that there were nights I never slept because I was too busy dreaming of the possibilities." Bastila hesitated. "There were times when I would have given up everything to be able to hear you say that to me. I always wondered... if I were better, stronger, would you have wanted me then?" Bastila dropped her gaze to the floor between them, trying not to let Revan's sniffles distract her. "But here I am, second in command of the Sith, stronger than I've ever been, and you still don't want me." Her voice took on some of its previous detached coolness. "I'm worth less than nothing, especially now that I've been defeated! Kill me!" she roared, trying to struggle once again.

"I don't want this you, Bastila," Revan said carefully, a flicker of hope springing to life in her chest at the break in Bastila's insanity. "I want the stubborn, sarcastic, thoughtful woman I fell in love with. I know she's still inside you; I can feel her."

Bastila scoffed weakly, suddenly looking weary. "That woman is tainted. I've changed and lost her forever." Her eyes displayed her wish to be put out of her misery.

Revan shook her head. "I don't believe that for a second. Malak tortured you just enough to bury you, but you're in there, Bas." The hope in Revan's chest grew into a small flame. She gently pressed against the other woman's consciousness through their bond, watching Bastila for a reaction.

Bastila's brow furrowed briefly, her eyes glinting with desperation before the insanity took over again. "My master won't like this," she spat. "He'll crush you!"

Revan sensed the fear in the broken woman before her, realizing she was close to losing control. "I know you're in there, Bastila," she repeated, "and I'm not going to leave until you find your way back. I don't care if it takes the rest of our lives." She continued probing their bond, searching for a trace of the Bastila she loved.

"Then you don't have very long," Bastila retorted. "My master will come and strike you down like a worthless dog!" Before Revan could interject, Bastila sneered. "And your pathetic Republic fleet stands no chance against the Star Forge! We will crush you and the Republic in one glorious day, and we'll be unstoppable!"

The words stung, but Revan did her best to pay them no mind. She kept Bastila pinned to the console, searching through the younger woman's mind. There were plenty of scars in Bastila's mind, thanks to the torture Malak had subjected her to, scars that would take years to heal. Revan ignored them for the moment, tensing when she felt traces of a barrier in Bastila's subconscious.

Revan felt around it, realizing it was very similar to the bond the Jedi Council had put on her own mind and frowning at the knowledge. Bastila screamed in front of her, trying to thrash around and protect herself.

Behind the barrier, Revan could sense Bastila, and she began chipping away at the wall between them. "Bastila," she called gently, moving closer to the woman before her. "I know you're in there." She cupped Bastila's cheek in her hand, watching as Bastila's eyes widened. Revan couldn't tell if fear or hope was more prevalent in the younger woman's eyes, but opted to pay no attention to that minute detail. "I can feel you, and I know you can feel me. Fight your way out?" she pleaded, pleased to feel the barrier weaken under her mental assault.

Bastila whimpered, her struggle against Revan's bonds ceasing. There was obvious confusion on her face.

Revan hesitated, waiting to see if Bastila would help her. "I love you, Bastila," she murmured, hoping the truth of the words would help the brunette overcome Malak's barrier. "I know you can do this. Just try."

As the wall between them shuddered, Revan could feel Bastila's mind struggling to free itself, and she continued eagerly coaxing the younger woman. With one final push from Bastila, Revan felt the block shatter.

"Revan," Bastila gasped, sagging back against the console a second later.

Revan released the Force hold she'd had on the younger woman, catching Bastila before she could crumple to the floor. "You're okay," she soothed, pulling Bastila into her arms and rocking her gently.

Bastila was trembling violently, struggling to stay conscious. She clung to Revan's robe weakly, gasping for breath.

Revan was overwhelmed with relief. She cradled the woman in her arms, thanking the Force for Bastila's return to the light.

"Revan," Bastila repeated, sounding a little more steady. "I'm sorry."

Revan pulled away enough to look the other woman in the eye. "Are you okay?"

Bastila dropped her gaze to the floor, her eyes flashing with pain. "He tortured me, Revan," she mumbled after a long pause. "I just... I couldn't resist. I tried, but he just..." She shuddered again.

The older woman pulled Bastila into her arms again, holding her close. "It's okay," she soothed.

Bastila wound her arms around Revan's neck and buried her face in Revan's shoulder, and Revan sent some calming waves of the Force through their bond.

"You said you love me," Bastila remembered quietly, lifting her head and looking at Revan nervously. She bit her lip and worried it between her teeth for a moment. "Even now, after everything that's happened?"

Revan cracked a smile. "Of course," she answered, the words simple.

The gray-eyed Jedi dropped her gaze to the floor again, radiating shame. "How? How can you love  **me**?" She got up and stepped away, wrapping her arms around herself as if to shield herself.

Revan stood and gazed at the woman she loved, reaching out and cupping Bastila's cheek in her hand. "How?" she echoed. "Bas, that'd be like trying to explain what water tastes like. I just do." She grinned weakly. "Don't even try to tell me you're worthless, because you're worth so much more than you know."

Bastila looked flustered, but finally smiled back at Revan. "I love you," she admitted cautiously.

Revan beamed as an alarm sounded far off in the station. "Marry me?" She continued before either of them had a chance to react to her words. "I know that seems really sudden, but look around." Revan caught Bastila's arms in her hands and gave her a hopeful and embarrassed shrug. "We're in an impossible situation, I know that, but I just... Knowing I saved you makes me feel like I can do anything. And that's what I want to do, more than anything else in the galaxy."

Bastila looked overcome by emotion and flung her arms around Revan. The taller woman smiled, catching Bastila's chin and lifting it slightly. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before Revan leaned in and kissed Bastila soundly.

The station gave a deep groaning, and the women broke apart. Revan held Bastila a little closer, half expecting to be blown to dust any second.

"The Republic," Bastila breathed. She gently pulled herself out of Revan's arms. "They need help."

Revan regarded the woman before her carefully, feeling a rush of pride. "Aren't they lucky? They have the Jedi with Battle Meditation on their side."

Bastila gave a weak snort, but a grin appeared on her face. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Revan." Her expression turned into a frown as the station shook again. "What about Malak?"

"Stay here," Revan answered immediately. "This is my fight. He wants me. If you're there, I'll be so worried about you that he'll find a way to distract me and win."

Bastila's frown deepened, but she didn't argue. "How do you... Will you be okay?"

Revan gave the little brunette a smile. "Hey, if my loving you can save you from the dark side, then yours can keep me safe. Don't worry about me, I'll be back before you know it."

She stepped away from the brunette reluctantly, heading toward the elevator to the droid factory.

"Revan?" Bastila's voice called across the room.

Revan stopped immediately and turned to see Bastila smiling at her. "Yeah?"

"Yes." Bastila's grin widened at Revan's confusion. "I'll marry you."

Revan ran back across the room and kissed Bastila again. "I'll be back," she promised, rushing off to the fateful battle with Malak, eager to end it all so she could live her life with the woman she loved.


End file.
